i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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