Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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