Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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