Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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