he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
