Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
