Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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