Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
