PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize