I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
