I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
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Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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