did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
