i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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