how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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