That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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