Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize