also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
