Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
