Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
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Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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