i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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