Porn is love you can see.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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