There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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