I am puke
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
