am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
