I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
