Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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