There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
