We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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