Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
