They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My ass is underappreciated
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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