Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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