Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
