Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
