Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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