I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
