The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
