I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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