I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
