so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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