i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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