Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
