It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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