I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
