Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
