Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
