i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
