Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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