you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
