my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
