You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
