Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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