why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
