Do you still have your period?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
