best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
