party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Small penises have feelings too.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
