my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
