I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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