not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
