Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
