Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
