Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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