cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize