so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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