birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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