sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
