My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize