can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
