Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just made out with a guy for $7.

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  (603): I just made out with a guy for $7. http://tfl.nu/nc9g
  Replies (17) Good night (1412) Bad night (647)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.

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  (586): You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup. http://tfl.nu/ddou
  Replies (10) Good night (3213) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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  (732): I hate having morals and standards the next morning. http://tfl.nu/3tqs
  Replies (9) Good night (2735) Bad night (1068)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.

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  (303): You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you. http://tfl.nu/1hxd
  Replies (22) Good night (4787) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.

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  (512): The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose. http://tfl.nu/i300
  Replies (15) Good night (996) Bad night (6574)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"

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  (626): in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to" http://tfl.nu/ga0k
  Replies (19) Good night (5137) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.

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  (+44): The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself. http://tfl.nu/y3oz
  Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (2075)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again

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  (708): there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again http://tfl.nu/npn0
  Replies (11) Good night (2203) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth

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  (219): I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth http://tfl.nu/0u40
  Replies (4) Good night (1864) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar

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  (515): we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar http://tfl.nu/51mn
  Replies (10) Good night (2241) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.

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  (740): Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow. http://tfl.nu/oilf
  Replies (11) Good night (1419) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"

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  (248): So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal" http://tfl.nu/879f
  Replies (6) Good night (1708) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag

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  (916): That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag http://tfl.nu/rjsr
  Replies (6) Good night (1470) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"

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  (902): You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot" http://tfl.nu/alep
  Replies (5) Good night (1277) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.

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  (989): You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone. http://tfl.nu/tu9y
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (255)

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