so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
