Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.

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  (651): dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression. http://tfl.nu/b05v
  Replies (20) Good night (594) Bad night (2478)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.

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  (409): It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself. http://tfl.nu/yf3o
  Replies (34) Good night (4121) Bad night (769)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.

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  (631): i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet. http://tfl.nu/93ik
  Replies (94) Good night (11048) Bad night (817)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm rooting for #1.

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  (270): possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th. (618): I'm rooting for #1. http://tfl.nu/ip6m
  Replies (37) Good night (4722) Bad night (1702)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on

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  (612): we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on http://tfl.nu/0rd7
  Replies (9) Good night (895) Bad night (3312)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
  Replies (25) Good night (7498) Bad night (826)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident

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  (506): Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident http://tfl.nu/1apo
  Replies (7) Good night (1427) Bad night (530)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.

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  (229): It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night. http://tfl.nu/etjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (467)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

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  (864): If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI http://tfl.nu/re47
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (350)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed

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  (312): There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed http://tfl.nu/ohal
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (662)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.

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  (571): In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades. http://tfl.nu/v1fc
  Replies (18) Good night (1137) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.

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  (614): I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am. http://tfl.nu/znur
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (224)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce

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  (254): It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce http://tfl.nu/ukp1
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (232)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"

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  (978): This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears" http://tfl.nu/n35d
  Replies (4) Good night (1008) Bad night (177)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me

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  (607): Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me http://tfl.nu/qp3z
  Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (213)

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