at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
