The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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